A reader posted the following honest, balanced and well-argued and highly personal piece appealing for more consideration and sensitivity in the whole issue of pubes. She writes:
“I would like to hear about how much you care for what the women feel, the pleasure they receive, in an honest way. I would also like to know that you care about the etiquette of touching sensually pubic hair, rather than just touching skin first. I would like to think that the sensation of what a woman feels is most important.
I know my experience may be extreme, but when I shaved or waxed, I was in near constant pain for weeks or months. I have only done this a few times in my life for a few months at a time. I could feel that my lips would be soft to touch, they felt good on my fingers, and I understand why you might like them that way, and I know that shaving and waxing doesn’t hurt every woman, day in and day out, but I don’t think you actively acknowledge those of us that experience this discomfort. Obviously, I won’t keep trying to get over this discomfort, but will continue on with my wonderful, natural bush.
It is a particularly sensitive topic to discuss with a lover, because no-one wants to hear that they pussy that they are about to fuck hurts, and has hurts 24-7 for days. And then they say, at least trim the yard, and that hurts and itches too. unbearably so. I don’t know why mine itches so, maybe my hairs are courser than the average woman’s – I have never even been able to stand trimming the few hairs in my bikini line. Trimming removes the softness and my pubic hairs get prickly. When I trimmed (which I rarely do) and cuddled up to my husband, he said “ouch” – so trimming the yard sucks too.
I like to think that our comfort is your utmost concern and that, even though we might not tell you, because it isn’t very sexy, there is a lot of discomfort associated with this trimming and cutting practice (not for everyone – but for enough of us). As it become more expected, for those women who find it painful, there is often too much pressure such that emotional issues of self hatred can come up (this is real – women are beginning to dislike their own bushes – I never remember this among my friends in college and we all had natural bushes to the extreme).
I don’t mean to put a damper on all the fun, I like this site a lot, but I feel it does not adequately address the unintentional oppression that is occurring. I couldn’t wear 90% of my pants for a month after I waxed. Rawness and what felt like bacterial imbalance occurred (I’ve used the biofeedback method for birth control since I was 18 so I am super familiar with the smell and taste, of my genital microbiome).
Upon waxing my outer labia, it literally turned from mucus membranes into a skin evolving to be dry, and the cotton of my underwear would suck the moistness out of my lips (ouch – its like having cotton on the inside of the lips of your mouth). As a smooth callous formed, and my labial skin become like soft leather, instead of a moist lip, I began to be able to wear my pants again. But they are not very sensitive to touch. Tickling my pubes would send me sky high, but the touch on my labial skin is less sensitive than touching my inner thigh now. Fucking with lots of lube is nice though.
I would like for all men to accept us and for all women to speak positively about hair, such that everyone is accepted and positive thoughts about diversity are spread.”
Thanks for your this heartfelt piece, dear reader. Dealing with itchy stubble, chafing and dryness is no fun at all. And I do agree with you that if a woman is not comfortable either physically or emotionally with styling her pubes, then she shouldn’t be doing it. Guys, of course, you need to respect that choice.